"No...I really....really....am... just fine! Nope. Not sick..."

I've always been a 'fabulous actress'....
(especially after becoming a 'mom'.)

"No...I really....really....am... just fine! Nope. Not sick..."

I feel like 'crud' today...run over by a wagon, and then crapped upon by the horses that said wagon is being pulled by...and then, baked in the sun.(However, as a rider myself, I do not find horse 'crap' all that bad--not to mention its known benefits for the garden....so, perhaps I shall choose a wagon...being pulled by pigs...Yes. Much more 'disgusting'.)

Indeed, rule #1: 'As a mother, from this day forward, thou shalt never---ever---be ill, or show weakness.'(There is too much 'sh%t' to do---with 3 kids, 3 dogs, 2 cats, 2 birds, the house, never ending laundry, cooking, 'cleaning',carpools, sports? ALWAYS something.)

...'Chop! CHOP! Get on with it woman!There is no time to dilly-dally!' say the many different voices in my brain...(that one has the British accent...'Ms Pattmore'... if you watch 'Downton')

Popped some motrin and a Benadryl just now...'mothers little helper' for sinus aggravation.(If you are old enough to remember? You just sang part of a Rolling Stones song....am I right? HA!)I am an 'older' mother....well 'older' in the fact that I had my 3rd child when I was almost 39-ish.(My first 2 were born before I was 32...so, I wasn't 'old' then...I actually had e-n-e-r-g-y!)

Hello?(yeah. I can't drive right now.)
I will stay home...let the one 'driving kid', pick up the 'non-driving kids'.('My Chickens' are almost 19, 16....and...9 years old, respectively...I've been married and divorced---TWICE---'don't judge.')

So, it won't matter if I get too dizzy, and  'fall out' over the laundry, or making dinner----right?
(The stove is electric, so, I wont catch my hair on fire.)
I really should go lay down. 'Rest'.
(but as soon as I do...the dogs will need to go out, or, more than likely, the cats will start fighting.)

So, I fake it. Fake smile, fake walk, fake drive---                                                         (well, no. Not that...I didn't take the 'Ambien' Luna Moth stuff...makin' you sleep, eat  and drive---never remembering a thing...although, it wouldn't surprise me if I was 'sleep eating', because this premenapausal weigh gain thing is KILLING ME! Where is this coming from....I have a potato chips and beer body and skinny legs...oh, I do think I KNOW what happened. My ass, has gravitated to my belly...My torso is on backwards!)

Turn off the cell phone...YES! And REST!
I have 2 teenagers and a 9 year old...
(What if THIS is the day that asteroid finally hits the earth. What then? HUH? Or someone barfs at school?) 

Gotta keep it at LEAST on 'vibrate' mode. 
(snicker.)

I'm not complaining. Moms don't do that. 
We trudge through...get things done...eat the burnt toast...and revel in the fact that, yes...these kids will rule the World one day!
(or at least pick out our Nursing Homes!)